Example is, hands down, the best teacher. Training yourself to like eating healthy will also give you the confidence to guide your children on the same path.
Curb their taste for processed sugars.
Sugar keeps your kids on an emotional roller coaster, causes disagreeable behavior and continually sets off cravings for more and more sugar. Never offer sweets as a reward or bribe.
Teach them to like pure water.
Children need liquids, but they don’t need calorie laden, high sugar colas and juices. Clear water leaves room for good food.
Substitute whole grains for the processed ones.
Whole grain breads (especially sprouted ones), brown rice and whole wheat pastas should be your grains of choice. You may have to start with half and half and keep adding more of the good stuff until you eventually reach 100% whole grains.
Eliminate random snacking.
If your kids are full when they get to the table, they won’t want the good foods you fix. Make sure they’re hungry enough to eat what’s put in front of them.
Help them learn to like nutritious fruits and vegetables.
Carrots and apples only taste sweet to children who don’t eat a lot of sugar. Serve vegetables when children are hungry and fresh fruit for dessert.
Offer only good healthy choices.
Don’t give them anything but nutritious foods. If their only choice is a tuna sandwich or natural peanut butter and unsweetened apple butter on whole grain breadComputer Technology Articles, they’ll eventually choose one of your healthy offerings.
No one who has hugged their child can doubt the gift of a child’s presence in their life. The love that is expressed in that simple act is one of the most profound ways that we experience love in this world. In order to nurture the special relationship of parent and child, and fulfill our roles as parents, there are number of things that we are signing up to do. Here is a list of eight essential ways to fulfill our parental responsibilities.
These are gifts that we should freely give to our children without thought of what we will receive in return for our efforts.
The Gift of Life. It is easy to forget that in the act of receiving a child into our lives we are sharing the gift of life itself. Remembering the precious nature of life can help us to keep the ups and downs of daily life in a proper perspective.
The Gift of Love. The most essential ingredient for a happy life is love. There is no feeling more satisfying to the soul, both in giving and receiving, then love. When we include a conscious awareness of this truth and nurture it as the most basic value of our relationship with our children, we will find that many mistakes – on both sides – can be weathered.
The Gift of Time. Time is the proof of our caring. When you spend time with your child you are saying with your actions: I love you and I would rather be with you than doing anything else. This is one of the best ways that you can objectify your love. It is also one of the greatest blessings.
The Gift of Good Manners. Children from a young age can be taught to behave. This isn’t an imposition on their free will. It is a gift that will enhance their lives. The process of developing good manners will help them to begin learning to see how others are affected by their actions. Through the establishment of basic good manners we are giving our children a skill that will benefit them in every other part of life.
The Gift of Self-Control. Through the establishment of good manners from the very beginning we are planting the seeds of a character trait that can serve as a strong support for success in any endeavor: Self-Control. Practice cultivating self-control in your own self first. Then attune yourself to ways that you can instill these same values in your children.
The Gift of Positive Mental Culture. By bringing the principles of positive thinking into all areas of life we develop in our children the experience that all good things are possible. Positive mental culture includes ten overarching areas of development: Non-Violence, Non- Lying, Non-Greed, Non-Sensuality, Non-Covetousness, Cleanliness, Contentment, Self-Control, Self-Study, and Devotion to God.
The Gift of Education. An academic education isn’t essential for living successfully in this world. There have been numbers of great people throughout history who couldn’t read or write. But next to those great souls who can shine in spite of this lack of formal training, there are millions who could advance their lives immensely if they could but read and write. It isn’t enough that we simply send our children to school. This is a gift that opens up a world of information and possibilities for our children. Don’t leave this area to chance.
The Gift of Reverence for All Life. Along with these most basic gifts we need to add a reverence for the sanctity of all life. While we can’t make our children believe in God or appreciate the beauty and value of the incredible variety of life forms that inhabit our planet, we can communicate our own belief. Not to share your view on these issues is to - by default - preach that they have no value. The communication and application of the highest aspects of life should always be at the forefront of family life.
Given the mixture of things that we want to share with our children we will need to mix and match according to how the soup is cooking. This is one of the beauties of life – its variety and spontaneity. It will, no doubt, turn out different than what we had anticipated in the beginning. If we give our children these eight gifts we will be well on our way to fulfilling our duties as parents and sharing with them the tools that will allow them to experience the best that life has to offer.
I had just completed a session with 17-year old Julie who suffered from severe depression. Julie believed she was a total failure and would never be able to change anything in her life. Julie also felt all her shortcomings were her own fault.
Where, I ask myself, did such a young person acquire this negative and fatalistic thinking?
The answer soon became apparent when I invited her parents into the session. They began discussing numerous life events and explaining them in ways that their children were learning. The car, for example, got dented because you can’t trust anybody these days; Mom yelled at brother because she was in a bad mood; you can’t get ahead in this world unless you know somebody, etc.
As a parent, your own thinking style is always on display and your children are listening intently!
The Importance of Optimism
Why should you want your child to be an optimist? Because, as Dr. Martin Seligman explains: “Pessimism (the opposite of optimism) is an entrenched habit of mind that has sweeping and disastrous consequences: depressed mood, resignation, underachievement and even unexpectedly poor physical health.”
Children with optimistic thinking skills are better able to interpret failure, have a stronger sense of personal mastery and are better able to bounce back when things go wrong in their lives.
Because parents are a major contributor to the thinking styles of their children’s developing minds, it is important to adhere to the following five steps to ensure healthy mental habits in your children.
How Parents Can Help
Step 1: Learn to think optimistically yourself. What children see and hear indirectly from you as you lead your life and interact with others influences them much more than what you try to ‘teach’ them.
You can model optimism for your child by incorporating optimistic mental skills into your own way of thinking. This is not easy and does not occur over night. But with practice, almost everyone can learn to think differently about life’s events – even parents!
Step 2: Teach your child that there is a connection between how they think and how they feel. You can do this most easily by saying aloud how your own thoughts about adversity create negative feelings in you.
For example, if you are driving your child to school and a driver cuts you off, verbalize the link between your thoughts and feelings by saying something like “I wonder why I’m feeling so angry; I guess I was saying to myself: ‘Now I’m going to be late because the guy in front of me is going so darn slow. If he is going to drive like that he shouldn’t drive during rush hour. How rude.’”
Step 3: Create a game called ‘thought catching.’ This helps your child learn to identify the thoughts that flit across his or her mind at the times they feel worst. These thoughts, although barely noticeable, greatly affect mood and behavior.
For instance, if your child received a poor grade, ask: “When you got your grade, what did you say to yourself?”
Step 4: Teach your child how to evaluate automatic thoughts. This means acknowledging that they things you say to yourself are not necessarily accurate.
For instance, after receiving the poor grade your child may be telling himself he is a failure, he is not as smart as other kids; he will never be able to succeed in school, etc. Many of these self-statements may not be accurate, but they are ‘automatic’ in that situation.
Step 5: Instruct your child on how to generate more accurate explanations (to themselves) when bad things happen and use them to challenge your child’s automatic but inaccurate thoughts. Part of this process involves looking for evidence to the contrary (good grades in the past, success in other life areas, etc).
Another skill to teach your child to help him or her think optimistically is to ‘decatastrophize’ the situation – that is – help your child see that the bad event may not be as bad or will not have the adverse consequences imagined. Few things in life are as devastating as we fear, yet we blow them up in our minds.
Parents can influence the thinking styles of their children by modeling the principals of optimistic thinking.
Five-year-old Katie asked for a coin for her to throw into a fountain at a local shopping center. She was given one, and duly walked over to the fountain, stopped for a few seconds, and threw it into the water, and came back to us, smiling.
“What did you wish for, Katie?” I asked, expecting some mention of Barbie in the answer.
“I wished that my brother could stay at home with us all of the time, and not have to go into hospital any more.” She replied.
I looked over at my wife, and saw that she had a tear in her eye.
On reflection, it made me realize how unselfish children can be in certain situations. They do not torture themselves with bias or perceptions of how their actions might impact upon others. They generally do what they want to do, and say what they want to say, until they get told to conform by parents or teachers. Children do need to be informed of boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed, or words that shouldn’t be said. They should, however, be allowed to fully develop their natural imagination and caring instincts in a positive, supportive framework.
By the same token, it made me realize how selfish us grown-ups have become. It seems that, for a lot of people, every act is performed only because of an expectation of something in return. You don’t think so? Let’s look at some examples:
You complain that your sister bought you a Christmas present that cost less than the one you bought for her.
You take your daughter out for a bike ride only so that you don’t have to play a game with her.
You take two-hour lunch breaks at work on a regular basis, yet you complain at appraisal time about your poor pay-rise.
You give up your seat on the train only because you think it will make you look good in front of others, and not because you want to.
You lend your best friend a small amount of money to help her out, yet all you can think about is when she will pay you back.
Giving with the expectation to receive is not giving, it’s lending. If you are lending somebody something, even subconsciously, you automatically expect some interest in return. This interest element is what causes the problem.
In the same way that interest on money compounds, so does this bank of accumulated selfishness. Like your monetary debt is always in the back of your mind, your subconscious will not let you move forward unless you balance the equation.
The most difficult way to become successful is by attempting to achieve everything on your own. If you desire long-term success at whatever you do, you can only get (and stay) there with the help of other people. Only by focusing on the other person will you be able to give without expecting to receive. Help other people, without expectation, and you help yourself on the road to success.
Character or Reputation. When we see these two words together, we often mistakenly believe that you cannot have one without the other.
Reputation in a nutshell is what others around us think of us. It is really the opinion that is held by others concerning who we are, and the motives they believe we have in doing what we do. We can have a “good” reputation, or a “bad” reputation. However, we must realize that either of those are relative, and a “good” or “bad” reputation is only in the eye of the beholder.
Much more valuable is our Character. Character in a nutshell, is who we are when no one is looking. It is not just the face in the mirror, but the “face behind the face”. A person with Godly character is one who can stand fast in the face of false accusations, insinuations, slander, and ridicule. They remain rock solid in the midst of these things, even though the hurt may be real, the despair and depression cannot take hold of them, and bring them to defeat.
When Joseph was falsely accused by Potiphar’s wife in the Old Testament, and was thrown from a high place of honor in the palace, into prison, one might say that his “reputation” was destroyed. “He said, she said…” He spent 12 long years in prison, the “victim” of unfounded allegations. However, his character remained strong! Even in prison, he did not languish in bitterness, and look for ways to seek revenge on those who had hurt him. He knew his day would come. Character knows no time restraints.
As you know, his day did come, and he became second in command in Egypt, and was in charge of food distribution during a great famine that he had prophesied would take place.
Reputations come and go. Character will hold you through the storms. Develop character, and you will never have regrets.
Whoever thought you’d be able to get organized in just 10 minutes?! Here are a few simple ideas.
10 MINUTE CHORE BOX:
Rather than spending hours organizing, and doing it all yourself, create a 10 minute Chore Box for yourself–and one for each family member, if applicable.
Each person’s box would contain specific chores or tasks that need to be completed. The chores are written on slips of paper, and take a maximum of 10 minutes each to accomplish.
You can gear the tasks towards the person’s abilities (e.g. while older kids can help out with vacuuming, a 3 year old may instead be responsible for putting away his/her toys.)
Each day, as a chore is completed, that slip of paper is placed in a holding envelope until the Chore Box is empty. Then, when empty, the boxes are refilled, and the system starts over again. This also works well at the office!
10 MINUTE PICK-UP:
Control the chaos. Schedule a consistent, ’10 minute Pick-up’ each night. Set a timer to sound an alarm in 10 minutes.
While the clock is ticking, all family members are responsible for clearing out and putting away their belongings from the main family area.
When the timer sounds, you’re all done. Give yourselves a warm round of applause for all you’ve accomplished.
10 MINUTE ‘WHEN I HAVE TIME’ GOALS:
One of the oldest phrases in the book is, ‘I’ll do that, when I have the time.’ Problem is, that time never seems to come.
If you REALLY want to do something, the time can generally be found pretty easily. For example, if you just won an all-expenses paid trip to the land of your dreams, you’d probably find time to fit it into your busy schedule without much of a problem.
So, it’s time to begin fitting in those things you want to do, and 10 Minute Goals can help. Schedule 10 minutes a day to catch up on your reading, or to begin learning that foreign language, or to simply spend having fun with your children. Then, work on those goals when the schedule date and time rolls around.
10 MINUTE LUXURIES:
Don’t forget to schedule a few 10 Minutes Luxuries per day to do something nice for yourself.
Sometimes the day is so rushed and chaotic, that it’s easy to forget the really important things like family, health, spirituality, personal time and so on.
Take that 10 minute vacation every day. You deserve it!
We are all members of a few families in our lifetime: the one that we are born to and the one(s) that we create. We all transfer hurts, attitudes, fears, hopes and desires a whole emotional baggage from the former to the latter. The narcissist is no exception.
The narcissist has a dichotomous view of humanity: humans are either Sources of Narcissistic Supply (and, then, idealized and over-valued) or do not fulfill this function (and, therefore, are valueless, devalued). The narcissist gets all the love that he needs from himself. From the outside he needs approval, affirmation, admiration, adoration, attention in other words, externalized Ego boundary functions.
He does not require nor does he seek his parents’ or his siblings’ love, or to be loved by his children. He casts them as the audience in the theater of his inflated grandiosity. He wishes to impress them, shock them, threaten them, infuse them with awe, inspire them, attract their attention, subjugate them, or manipulate them.
He emulates and simulates an entire range of emotions and employs every means to achieve these effects. He lies (narcissists are pathological liars their very self is a false one). He acts the pitiful, or, its opposite, the resilient and reliable. He stuns and shines with outstanding intellectual, or physical capacities and achievements, or behaviour patterns appreciated by the members of the family. When confronted with (younger) siblings or with his own children, the narcissist is likely to go through three phases:
At first, he perceives his offspring or siblings as a threat to his Narcissistic Supply, such as the attention of his spouse, or mother, as the case may be. They intrude on his turf and invade the Pathological Narcissistic Space. The narcissist does his best to belittle them, hurt (even physically) and humiliate them and then, when these reactions prove ineffective or counter productive, he retreats into an imaginary world of omnipotence. A period of emotional absence and detachment ensues.
His aggression having failed to elicit Narcissistic Supply, the narcissist proceeds to indulge himself in daydreaming, delusions of grandeur, planning of future coups, nostalgia and hurt (the Lost Paradise Syndrome). The narcissist reacts this way to the birth of his children or to the introduction of new foci of attention to the family cell (even to a new pet!).
Whoever the narcissist perceives to be in competition for scarce Narcissistic Supply is relegated to the role of the enemy. Where the uninhibited expression of the aggression and hostility aroused by this predicament is illegitimate or impossible the narcissist prefers to stay away. Rather than attack his offspring or siblings, he sometimes immediately disconnects, detaches himself emotionally, becomes cold and uninterested, or directs transformed anger at his mate or at his parents (the more “legitimate” targets).
Other narcissists see the opportunity in the “mishap”. They seek to manipulate their parents (or their mate) by “taking over” the newcomer. Such narcissists monopolies their siblings or their newborn children. This way, indirectly, they benefit from the attention directed at the infants. The sibling or offspring become vicarious sources of Narcissistic Supply and proxies for the narcissist.
An example: by being closely identified with his offspring, a narcissistic father secures the grateful admiration of the mother (“What an outstanding father/brother he is”). He also assumes part of or all the credit for baby’s/sibling’s achievements. This is a process of annexation and assimilation of the other, a strategy that the narcissist makes use of in most of his relationships.
As siblings or progeny grow older, the narcissist begins to see their potential to be edifying, reliable and satisfactory Sources of Narcissistic Supply. His attitude, then, is completely transformed. The former threats have now become promising potentials. He cultivates those whom he trusts to be the most rewarding. He encourages them to idolize him, to adore him, to be awed by him, to admire his deeds and capabilities, to learn to blindly trust and obey him, in short to surrender to his charisma and to become submerged in his follies-de-grandeur.
It is at this stage that the risk of child abuse – up to and including outright incest – is heightened. The narcissist is auto-erotic. He is the preferred object of his own sexual attraction. His siblings and his children share his genetic material. Molesting or having intercourse with them is as close as the narcissist gets to having sex with himself.
Moreover, the narcissist perceives sex in terms of annexation. The partner is “assimilated” and becomes an extension of the narcissist, a fully controlled and manipulated object. Sex, to the narcissist, is the ultimate act of depersonalization and objectification of the other. He actually masturbates with other people’s bodies.
Minors pose little danger of criticizing the narcissist or confronting him. They are perfect, malleable and abundant sources of Narcissistic Supply. The narcissist derives gratification from having coital relations with adulating, physically and mentally inferior, inexperienced and dependent “bodies”.
These roles allocated to them explicitly and demanding or implicitly and perniciously by the narcissist are best fulfilled by ones whose mind is not yet fully formed and independent. The older the siblings or offspring, the more they become critical, even judgmental, of the narcissist. They are better able to put into context and perspective his actions, to question his motives, to anticipate his moves.
As they mature, they often refuse to continue to play the mindless pawns in his chess game. They hold grudges against him for what he has done to them in the past, when they were less capable of resistance. They can gauge his true stature, talents and achievements which, usually, lag far behind the claims that he makes.
This brings the narcissist a full cycle back to the first phase. Again, he perceives his siblings or sons/daughters as threats. He quickly becomes disillusioned and devaluing. He loses all interest, becomes emotionally remote, absent and cold, rejects any effort to communicate with him, citing life pressures and the preciousness and scarceness of his time.
He feels burdened, cornered, besieged, suffocated, and claustrophobic. He wants to get away, to abandon his commitments to people who have become totally useless (or even damaging) to him. He does not understand why he has to support them, or to suffer their company and he believes himself to have been deliberately and ruthlessly trapped.
He rebels either passively-aggressively (by refusing to act or by intentionally sabotaging the relationships) or actively (by being overly critical, aggressive, unpleasant, verbally and psychologically abusive and so on). Slowly to justify his acts to himself he gets immersed in conspiracy theories with clear paranoid hues.
To his mind, the members of the family conspire against him, seek to belittle or humiliate or subordinate him, do not understand him, or stymie his growth. The narcissist usually finally gets what he wants and the family that he has created disintegrates to his great sorrow (due to the loss of the Narcissistic Space) but also to his great relief and surprise (how could they have let go someone as unique as he?).
This is the cycle: the narcissist feels threatened by arrival of new family members he tries to assimilate or annex of siblings or offspring he obtains Narcissistic Supply from them he overvalues and idealizes these new found sources as sources grow older and independent, they adopt anti narcissistic behaviors the narcissist devalues them the narcissist feels stifled and trapped the narcissist becomes paranoid the narcissist rebels and the family disintegrates.
This cycle characterizes not only the family life of the narcissist. It is to be found in other realms of his life (his career, for instance). At work, the narcissist, initially, feels threatened (no one knows him, he is a nobody). Then, he develops a circle of admirers, cronies and friends which he “nurtures and cultivates” in order to obtain Narcissistic Supply from them. He overvalues them (to him, they are the brightest, the most loyal, with the biggest chances to climb the corporate ladder and other superlatives).
But following some anti-narcissistic behaviors on their part (a critical remark, a disagreement, a refusal, however polite) the narcissist devalues all these previously idealized individuals. Now that they have dared oppose him – they are judged by him to be stupid, cowardly, lacking in ambition, skills and talents, common (the worst expletive in the narcissist’s vocabulary), with an unspectacular career ahead of them.
The narcissist feels that he is mis-allocating his scarce and invaluable resources (for instance, his time). He feels besieged and suffocated. He rebels and erupts in a serious of self-defeating and self-destructive behaviors, which lead to the disintegration of his life.
Doomed to build and ruin, attach and detach, appreciate and depreciate, the narcissist is predictable in his “death wish”. What sets him apart from other suicidal types is that his wish is granted to him in small, tormenting doses throughout his anguished life.
Let the child choose his or her own lunch box or reusable lunch bag. Encourage the child to add decorations, too.
Children like finger foods. Cut chicken, cheese, or meat into bite-sized pieces for easier handling.
Sandwiches don’t have to be boring. Use a variety of breads and fillings. Cut sandwiches into squares or triangles, or use cookie cutters to cut out fancy shapes.
Insulated containers make it possible to keep foods hot or cold until lunchtime. Soup, casseroles, and salads are interesting alternatives to sandwiches.
Muffins, biscuits, rolls and bread sticks are all good substitutes for slices of bread.
Pack fruits and vegetables ready to eat. Peel and cut them at home, if necessary. Vegetables can be cut into strips, chunks, or flowers. Try including raw vegetables such as yams, sweet potatoes, broccoli, and cauliflower.
Lunch ‘treats’ don’t have to be cookies or candy. Raisins, peanuts, popcorn, and pumpkin or sunflower seeds are fun to eat and provide more nutrients
Looking for a fresh, new way to start the day? Think outside the breadbox and beyond! Darlene Gingrich, Thomas’ Break-xpert provides the following ‘menu’ of mouth-watering morning solutions that include much more than just jams and syrup:
Calling all cheese-lovers! Top an English Muffin with a slice of your favorite cheese, add a slice of ham or bacon and toast open-faced under the broiler until the cheese starts to melt. Gooey and good!
Your own egg and muffin creation. Poached or scrambled eggs take just seconds in the microwave and make the perfect partner to an English Muffin. Include a spoonful of salsa to add a zesty twist!
Gourmet on the go. Package one or two Fresh Waffles in plastic sandwich bags and your favorite fruit topping in a reusable sealed container. Toast the waffle once you get to work, top it off with your assortment of fruit and enjoy decadence at your desk. Add a spoonful of fruit yogurt for a breakfast parfait!
Brie? Mais oui! Add sliced pears and Brie cheese to a toasted Fresh Waffle for an alternative to syrup.
# Brown Betty made easy. Microwave sliced apples with brown sugar and a dab of butter until warm. Serve over a hot fresh waffle.
# Pizza for breakfast! Who says you should only eat it at lunch? Top an English Muffin with tomato sauce and all of your favorite toppings. Quick, easy and nutritious, and fun for the kids to help.
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Mark Twain
Important, such as?
Oh, just little things like attitude, finding inspiration, nurturing your creativity, tenacity … Simply, learning the secrets to realizing your dreams and achieving the success you desire, without going completely nuts in the process.
You do have to find the inspiration, motivation and sheer discipline to work long hours, initially for very little return and without someone supervising you. But, if you can dream it (I am a real day-dreamer!), you CAN make it reality. I used to doubt that, but I have found it to be entirely true. I think you just have to want something enough then do something about it.
Wanting more is normal?
Why the question mark? Doesn’t everyone want something better? Can they all have it? If we all got more, who would be left with less? (Normal, I can tell you, is just a setting on a washing- machine!)
Are there people who are as happy as pigs in the proverbial punching in at the factory 5 days a week, watching football at weekends, going to bed at 11 p.m. and not wanting more than that? Personally, I think not. There may be some who have not realized yet what their “more” is and there are lots who are afraid to try anything new, but I think deep down, we all want something we don’t have.
It isn’t always material things, but whatever it is, it is what keeps us striving. And because everyone’s “more” will be as unique as the person themselves, then yes, I do believe that we can all have it: i.e. it is worth pursuing your ambitions, no matter how abnormal they may appear.
You’ll face problems, overcoming them is the key
Yeah, that was obvious, wasn’t it? You don’t need problems, you need solutions and what you may forget is that most of them you already have — right there in your own mind and attitudes. No, I’m not saying you have an “attitude problem”, although I’ll admit I’ve been told I have, many times!
Among the problems I have faced, and I imagine you have or will too, initially stem from needing to take what is virtually a “Leap of Faith” into unknown territory. I have done that to a foreign country and survived (not necessarily with my sanity intact, but alive enough to tell the tale).
If you announce your intentions work for yourself, especially on the net, I’ll bet you last year’s salary that someone in your immediate circle of family and friends will take a sharp intake of breath … if they don’t actually belly-laugh. Now if that isn’t inspiration destroying, I don’t know what is!
OK, they seem to think that us “normal folk” cant do this. You don’t want to listen, but you hear them and some fears start creeping into your mind. What if they are right? Yeah, so what? Accept that YES, they could be, but don’t let them project their fears onto you. That’s them. They probably aren’t prepared to put in the work, whereas, if you are reading this, we can presume you are — and that’s half the battle licked already.
Failure or learning? It’s a question of attitude
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. – Mark Twain
Focus merely on doing what’s right for you, now, (even if you suffer the consequences) for only you can regret not trying something if you choose and allow others to influence you to hesitate.
You will read statistics (and actually, they are not lies) that state only 5% of people will succeed. Almost none of them will do it on the first attempt. And this is where the 95% — that the doubting Thomas above hold as being normal — simply give up.
It’s not because IT doesn’t work, it’s not because they couldn’t have done it. They just didn’t have that one elusive secret, quality or knowledge that the 5% do realise they have.
So what’s the mystical secret that the 5% have?
Absolutely nothing more than the fact that they do not give up and they know they shouldn’t. If their first ideas don’t work, they learn why and go on to try something better. Again and again. They keep learning and they keep trying, for which they require inspiration, motivation and a large measure of tenacity. In my dictionary, failure is merely a sinister word that other people give to a natural learning-by-doing process. It ain’t a big deal, it’s no more than a knee-scrape in the scheme of things. Get back on that bike!
I’ve tried many things that didn’t work for me, but I don’t think I have failed, ever.
In fact, I have learned and I am still learning, but the two most important things so far are:
=> Finally, I am seeing results — the ones that matter to me currently, ones that pay the bills => I am enjoying what I do at last instead of being an oppressed wage-slave.
The motivation thus becomes self-fueling. I am realizing a dream